A time comes in our marital journey, especially with spouses of different temperaments categories, when our individual differences which is often connected to our personality traits will become an issue in deciding how peaceful and cordial our relationship will be. During this periods, our likes, preferences and interests more often seems to conflict with one another’s interest, likes or preferences. So much such that if not properly managed, it could cause serious marital conflict, chaos, or crisis in the home.
It’s basically for this reason that in today’s post, we want to consider five key areas spouses of different classes of temperaments has got to be wary of, and properly deal with in their marriage, in order to forestall any conflict that may arise consequent upon conflicting individual interests.
Key Areas Spouses of Different Temperament Category Must Deal With In Marriage:
Apart from other minor areas such as: in which city or country to reside in, where to spend the next vacation, what school should the kids attend, which of the religious organization to belong, what to have for breakfast or dinner, and other numerous areas that may throw up conflicting interest among couples. There are five key areas that spouses, especially those of different temperaments are often confronted with, and which they must carefully handle and deal with, so as to forestall any marital conflict. And these key areas that may be of special and also conflicting interest between the spouses are basically as a result of their predominant temperament. Let’s look at them one after the other.
1. Finance Management:
One of the key areas that spouses of different temperaments will have to deal with in marriage, is no doubt in the management of their finances. For their individual differences in how they manage their money, which also is as a result of their differences in temperament must definitely come to bare. It’s important to note that the various temperaments has different ways they manage their finances. The way a sanguine spends and manages money is very different from how a phlegmatic, melancholy or choleric will do. Its rare for two temperaments to manage or spend 💰 money exactly the same way. Therefore, if they get married to each other, it is a no brainer that their individual traits in finance management and planning will definitely conflict with the other.
For instance, a financially disciplined and frugal melancholy will certainly be pissed by a sanguine’s extravagant and undisciplined lifestyle. Even a calm and quiet phlegmatic, and not even will a big spender choleric be so pleased with a typical sanguine’s way if managing and handling money. In same vein, a very quick, decisive and big-spender choleric will without any doubt have initial rough times coping with a typical melancholy’s detailed planning and budget-conscious traits, until they’re able to understand each other and perfectly blend together.
Finance handling and management has been one of the major source of conflict among spouses of opposite temperaments. Because their money management ability, which is also a function of the temperament they’re born with, will definitely come bare in their marriage. The best way these differences could be managed is to allow influence to go back and forth among the couples. A melancholy or phlegmatic must not be too stingy or withholding, and a sanguine must as a matter of fact cut down on his or her extravagant lifestyle. But if in cases where a typical melancholy’s or may be a phlegmatic’s frugality has been able to help the family get out of debt or overcome some challenges that requires finance, then it’s better to allow them manage, plan and run all the financial expenses of the family.
2. Child Training Methodology:
This is also another area spouses of opposite temperaments often contend with, and which they’ll have to rightly deal with in order to avoid conflicts. A calm, quiet and fearful phlegmatic will certainly not be happy watching his or her kid being disciplined by a high-handed and ruthless choleric spouse. The same way a sanguine’s carefree, unserious and undisciplined lifestyle in training their kid will for sure piss-off a highly disciplined and determined melancholy, talk more of a choleric.
It’s basically for this reason that intending couples ought to ask some salient questions about the kind of kids they want to raise, and decide on the temperament category that has got those basic qualities they’d like to see replicated in their kids.
3. Fulfilment of Marital Obligation:
Different temperament has various sexual responses and behaviours that are peculiar to them. And knowing these response and behaviours will enable you both to have a great sex life. However, most couples always encounters challenges and conflicts whenever it’s time for them to fulfill their marital obligation to each other. While one spouse may be ready, the other will often complain of not being ready, perhaps because their sexual feelings and emotions had not been triggered or turned on.
A sanguine who’s sexual spontaneity often defines his or her sex life may find it very difficult coping with a melancholy’s and choleric’s sexual deliberateness. A happy sanguine may be in the mood for sex, but his or her moody melancholy spouse will often be pissed with that desire during such unhappy mood. Similarly, a serious and activity-prone choleric may even get irritated by his or her sanguine or any other temperament spouse’s urge for sex, as at time they’re very busy with something. These are simply the differences our temperaments often throws up in marriage, that every couple or intending couple must understand and see how they’ll be able to deal with it prior to tying the nuptial nut.
4. Career Choices:
Different temperaments are actually drawn or attracted to various careers that they find very appealing. But it’s however unfortunate that more often than not, our career choices becomes a bone of contention in our marital life, such that sometimes we’ve got to choose between staying in marriage or abandoning that career. Obviously, a melancholy or phlegmatic spouse will definitely not be happy with a career that often keeps his or her partner away for too long, that they rarely have or spend time with them, but rather with others. Similarly, a typical sanguine will often find it very hard coping with a career that do not give them the liberty to often meet and interact with different people.
It’s for this reason that career choices will always be a source of conflict for different couples, particularly those of different temperament category. But it can be managed if only couples will endeavour to understand each other’s basic temperament weaknesses and strengths, and be more tolerant of one another.
5. Relating With Others:
Most couples often battles with this in their marriage, and it’s always a very contentious issue they’ll have to deal with. Not every temperament likes to relate with people. Some categories of temperaments are just comfortable being alone with their spouses and kids in their home, rather than have visitors or friends come to disturb their privacy. And if perhaps the other spouse who could be people-oriented, is fond of bringing home friends and others, it pisses the other.
A case in point is a sanguine who’s a people-oriented individual and a melancholy spouse who often loves privacy. Or a choleric who does not have the time for chitchat, horseplay or giggling and amusing with friends, other than how to achieve their goals. Thus, in this case, a typical sanguine getting married to either a choleric or melancholy and always bringing his or her friends home will sure have to deal with this contentious issue of relating with others.
In conclusion, all temperaments has got different traits and behavioral pattern that are peculiar to them. Thus, it’s important that before tying the nuptial nut with an opposite temperament category, you’ve got to understand these traits, and also what they’re bringing along with them in marriage. There’s no perfect marriage irrespective of the temperament you marry. It’s a matter of understanding the personality traits of the particular temperament and try to help them maximize their strengths and manage their weaknesses.
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Personality Traits and Temperaments. 