How Your Temperament Makes You Vulnerable To Polygamy:
Polygamy has no doubt been an ancient practice that dates back thousands of years. This practice of marrying more than one wife is still very common in our society today, and I don’t think it’s going to go away anytime soon, as long as the insatiable desires of humans are concerned. Although, most men are polygamous by nature, and do not see anything wrong with marrying more than one wife.
Especially in African societies where most men believe it’s a tradition or culture for a man to be polygamous. Which often makes them feel there’s nothing wrong in having more than one wife. However, the decision by some men to marry more than one woman is sometimes triggered by some factors, which even majority of the men who are protagonist and proponents of this practice are not aware of.
Apart from the fact that polygamy is viewed as a cultural thing in most societies, and men are often viewed to be polygamous by nature. But I’ve recently discovered that most men who deliberately marry more than one woman today, never thought about it from the outset, particularly as at the time they married their first wife. Some factors led to it, and these factors are what we’re going to be looking at in today’s post.
Not also forgetting the influence of our temperament on the decision of a man to be polygamous. Different temperaments has different reasons why they later decide to marry more than one woman after many years of being married to a first wife.
In today’s post, we’ll consider some of the reasons why men of different temperament categories decides to be polygamous, and factors that often makes them become vulnerable to polygamy, and how you can avoid it. Without further Ado, let’s consider some of these factors one after another.
5 Factors That Are Responsible For Polygamy Among Men of Different Temperament Category:
Without discountenancing the fact that polygamy is ancient cultural practice in most society, and majority of men are traditionally polygamous, thus they do not condemn it nor vilify anyone who decides to indulge in it. Some would rather choose to be indifferent about it. However, there are some basic reasons why a lot of men tends to pander towards it, and their temperament type also tends to give them the impetus and a reason to be polygamous eventhough they never envisaged it when they were getting married to their first wife. Let’s look at some these reasons:
1. Temperament Mismatch:
Temperament mismatch is often the first and foremost reason why most men marry more than one wife later in life, eventhough it wasn’t part of their plan initially. This is not peculiar to any particular temperament.
Anybody, irrespective of the category of temperament they belong, could make a mistake in marrying someone whose temperament and personality traits does not complement theirs. When this happens, the tendency or desire to consider marrying someone else will obviously be palpable. As a result of this, some men, whether deliberately or perhaps inadvertently, will find themselves in a polygamous state. While others may just decide to indulge in extramarital affairs, just to satisfy their desires.
It’s important to state that one thing that often causes temperament mis- match in marriage, is ignorance of one’s own temperament strengths and weaknesses, and inexperience during their early years of getting married to their first wife. It’s unfortunate that majority of persons, especially men whose responsibility it is to decide on who to marry, are very inexperienced, and are also ignorant of their basic temperament with its innate strength and weaknesses. Therefore, making a mistake about the right person to tie the knot with, that will eventually complement them in marriage, is not uncommon for them.
It’s basically for this reason that after they’ve spent some years in that marriage, and later begin to notice some of the qualities that often attract and interests them in other women, they’ll become so much passionate about them that the thought of taking a second wife will no doubt become very prevalent, and which they may eventually succumb to.
I’ve seen typical melancholy men who decides to get married to a phlegmatic woman because of her calm, quiet, gentle and kind qualities during their juvenile years. Without realizing that those qualities and strengths will not be enough to satisfy their needs in the marriage in the long run, and also does not really complement their own melancholic weaknesses. You may go read: Melancholy and phlegmatic temperaments in marital relationship. Melancholies appreciates someone who’s a little bit outgoing, courageous, confident, bold and treats them like Kings or queens before anyone. These are some of the strengths that often complements their weaknesses and interests them about others. Little wonder they easily pander to a typical choleric woman who typifies these strengths and qualities.
I’ve also seen typical melancholy or phlegmatic men who had dated and initially married a sanguine woman, or vice versa, just for the sole reason that the sanguine is a very lively, fun loving, outgoing and very flamboyant person, but later realizes after many years of marriage that those qualities and strengths cannot suffice to keep them happy in marriage, and rarely complements their own temperament strengths and weaknesses. A choleric man may also marry a phlegmatic woman because of her very gentle, calm, quiet and respectful qualities, but will later begin to feel that she no longer meets his standard, and not really who he should’ve married.
Temperament Mismatch due to lack of experience and ignorance of one’s own temperament, is one of the major reason why a lot of men often makes mistake in marriage by dabbling into it. And this could also make them either deliberately or inadvertently find themselves in a polygamous situation. Because no one wants to be in a marriage where they feel some kind of dissatisfaction, much more when they find other qualities that often interests them in others.
In order to avoid this, men must know what they want in a woman. Having a knowledge of the four temperaments and their respective strengths and weaknesses is very necessary in the choice of a lifetime heartthrob. This will enable you to figure out what qualities often interests you about others, which is basically found in their temperament strengths, and how those strengths are very much complementary to your temperament weaknesses. It’s on this premise that you’ll not feel bored in marriage, since you married someone who their temperament strengths absolutely complements your own weaknesses.
2. Bragging Right:
This is another major reasons why some men are polygamous. A lot of men views marrying more than one woman as having enough trophies to display and showcase to anyone. A lot of them are naturally polygamous by nature, and believes there’s absolutely nothing wrong for a man to marry more than one woman, as long as it makes them feel extremely happy and fulfilled, and since they’ve also got the wherewithal to live such lives.
This is typical of men that belongs to the sanguine temperament category. For a sanguine is a very enjoying, fun-loving, ebullient and flamboyant personality. Who’s as free as the air, and honestly believes that life ought to be relished to the fullest. Thus, the thought and act of marrying a first, second and even a third wife, just to bluster about himself and become everyone’s cynosure and rallying point is not uncommon for him.
The sanguine’s major temperament weaknesses often exposes him to a polygamous lifestyle, and he more often than not yields to it. King Solomon in the Bible is a good example of a typical sanguine, or at least has sanguine as his secondary temperament. For it could only take a sanguine personality to marry three hundred wives and also have seven hundred concubines.
3. Social Status:
I’ve come to realize and observe that social status or class hierarchy often makes most men become vulnerable to polygamy. There are men who often sincerely believes that as their status in life changes, and had become very prominent in the society, their marital status ought to also change and evolve, disregarding any initial resolve of sticking to their first wife.
A man of any of the four temperament type could be guilty of this, especially if some of the qualities that attracted them initially to their first wife are no longer valid or can no longer suffice to match their present status in life. Thus, the thoughts of getting married to a second wife who matches or suits their present status and position in life will become very overwhelming.
Despite the fact that any temperament category could be guilty of indulging in polygamy as a result of social or class status, but men of integrity and strong character will not pander to that. Unless they had initially married someone whose strengths are rarely complementary to their weaknesses.
4. Ego massage:
It’s really funny different reasons why most men engage in polygamy. Do you know that most men actually marries more than one wife because they just want to massage their ego, and make everyone believe they’re the boss, and have got the right to do whatever they wished to do with their life? These are some of the men that always feels entitled, and do not even consider what anyone feels or thinks about their decision.
Their entitlement mentality will often make them vociferously lashout at their wives, with the fact that they’ve got the right as a man to marry more than one woman should they not be in support of their decision. Men with typical choleric traits are often more guilty of this, than any of the other temperament category. Do not try to stop them, because they’ll go ahead with their plans and decisions no matter whose ox is gored.
5. Confidence Boosting:
This is also another major reason why some men, especially phlegmatic men indulge in polygamy. It’s seen as a way of boosting their confidence, to let everyone know that they’re capable of handling more than one woman despite their calm, quiet and gentle and nature.
Phlegmatics are the temperament with the least courage and confidence. They’re often very fearful and timid, but loves to be noticed, admired and appreciated. Never try to disdain them, else, it emotes an inner feeling of resentments and revenge in them, which they never forgets, and must pay you back one way or another someday.
The phlegmatic’s temperament basic weaknesses of lack of courage, fear and timidity often makes him feel being able to woo and subsequently marry more than one woman is a way of boosting his confidence level and courage. And regardless of these weaknesses, he often succeeds in his decision to take more wives, as long as he’s got the wherewithal to keep them stuck with him.
In conclusion, polygamy is an agelong practice especially in most native societies of African origin. And this practice has continued until today in our modern societies. However, the reasons why so many men in the ancient times decided to become polygamous may have changed today. And I sincerely believe that some of this changes may not be unconnected with the renewed consciousness of the temperament we’re born with, and also some other contemporary factors. But barring any other factor or reasons, I honestly believe that when a man marries a woman that has got strengths and qualities that often interests him, and complements his weaknesses, he’ll be less likely to indulge in polygamy.
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