Signs You Married A Predominant Choleric, and How You Can Succeed With Them In Marriage:
A lot of persons often wonders why their partner acts or behaves the way they do, and why they aren’t like the other person who they quite admire, and perhaps fancy their behavioral patterns. It is important you know that no two persons are exactly the same in traits and behavioral patterns. We’re individualistic in nature, courtesy of the different temperaments we inherited from our parents, and even more from our grandparents. It is basically for this reason that comparing your spouse or partner to someone else, and perhaps wishing they behaved in a certain way or like someone else is ill-advised. You definitely need to discover why they behave and act exactly the way they do, and the best possible way to relate and get along with them, and also consequently get the best from them.
It’s for this reason that in today’s post, we would be looking at some basic signs that you had married a predominant choleric spouse, and how you’ll be able to succeed with them in marriage or get the best from them in your relationship.
12 Signs You Married A Predominant Choleric Spouse:
1. Highly Domineering:
This is one of the major signs you’d use to identify a typical choleric. A predominant choleric is highly domineering, influential and assertive in their relationships with others. They’re highly opinionated persons, who often wants their will and opinions to be accepted by everyone and prevail in the end. No one can be more assertive than a typical choleric personality. You could run into very serious disagreement with them should you tend to have an opinion that is totally different from theirs, and they will not hesitate to ride roughshod over anyone who disagrees with their decisions.
Cholerics are often paranoid when their opinions do not go through. In any group or an organization where they’ve got a say, they are usually table-pounders or hitters and they’ll usually be the first to walk out of a meeting when decision do not go their way or their opinions aren’t taken. And in their relationship with others, be it erotic or interpersonal, it’s very difficult to stop a typical choleric from having his or her way unless you’re able to come up with a higher argument and opinion that defeats every other sentiments or selfish desire they may have, else a choleric will find it extremely difficult to pander to what you want.
The dogmatic and opinionated character of cholerics is often responsible for some of the marital conflicts they often encounter in their dating relationship and marriage, because no one desires or wants to be in a relationship or marriage where they do not have a say, or their opinions are not always considered. This character consequently makes typical cholerics to easily dominate their partner and spouses especially if they married a very calm, quiet and peaceful phlegmatic who may not want to be drawn into conflicts with them. And if perhaps it’s a typical melancholy or sanguine they had married, then frequent disagreements will not be uncommon in the marriage.
This is common among cholerics especially, predominantly male choleric temperament Unfortunately, cholerics do not care about how you feel or what anyone thinks when they want to achieve a goal or an objective. It is inconsequential to them if having their goals and desires achieved will infringe on your right, as long as it suits them well and satisfies their ego. It’s isn’t because they are naturally selfish or self-centered like their phlegmatic and melancholic counterparts, but it’s rather because they are result and goal oriented persons, who does not want anything or anyone standing on their way whenever they want to achieve something.
Thus, even if it means trampling on your right or denying you of what’s rightly yours just so they get what they want or desire, a typical choleric person will do it and move on without caring about how you feel. This character no doubt often makes them act or display some high-handedness in their relationship with others, and also in their marriage if perhaps they married someone who they easily dominate or can’t measure up to their standard and sophisticated trait and lifestyle. Therefore, if your spouse and partner makes unilateral decisions or does things without seeking for your input, and perhaps they could brazingly violate and take your right without mutual concessions or caring about how you feel, then, it’s very possible you had married a predominantly choleric spouse.
Predominant choleric personalities have got the least developed emotions and also emotional responses of the four basic type of temperaments. They rarely pander to sentiments and emotions. Thus, they are easily the most forthright and very straight forward persons, who rarely does anything out of sentiments and emotions just so they please you. Eventhough you’re their lover or heartthrob, it’s difficult to make a typical choleric personality pander towards some sentiments and emotional attachments. Or to perhaps get them to become emotionally responsive to you by expressing some deep emotional feelings for them.
Typical cholerics are often dictatorial in nature. They like to dictate and determine the cause and line of an action. They hate being dictated to, or ordered around but they often enjoy being the ones calling the shots and decide on what to do next and also when to do it. This attitude rarely goes down well with their partner or spouses unless if they married a typical phlegmatic who really does not have a mind of their own, but often waits for others to initiate an action or take responsibility. Even when they feel emotionally attracted to you, they will rarely be the first to create a convivial ambience or initiate a conversation that could lead to some fun moments with their spouse, but will usually wait for them to be first to initiate the process.
It’s basically for this reason that when they marry a typical choleric personality who’s unemotional or rarely the emotional type, they easily get bored in their marriage or relationship with them, eventhough they’re very much attracted to some of their brave, fearless and courageous qualities. To sum up, a choleric is an unemotional person or has got the least developed emotions and emotional responses of the four basic type of temperaments.
Thus, they could easily overlook, take for granted and also downplay your emotional feelings and attachments towards them, especially when they aren’t ready for it. Sometimes they could also verbally vilify or backlash you should you be insistent on getting their emotions or feelings to align with yours at that particular time. A typical Choleric spouse only becomes emotionally attached and responsive when they want to be, not when you want them to. The only time you could make them pander towards your emotional feelings and perhaps try to make them get down with you, is when they are happy and excited, having being able to achieve their desires and goals for the day.
Being unapologetic or having difficulty in saying ‘im sorry’ is one of the major oddity of typical cholerics. The choleric’s ego, plus self-sufficiency and being overly conscious of their dignity makes it extremely difficult for them to express apologies or be vocally apologetic about their wrongdoing. Like it’s with their typical melancholic counterpart, cholerics also feels that they’re perfect and faultless especially in their decisions and actions. Thus, the tendency toward lording their views and opinions over you is not uncommon for them. This feeling of having a perfect view of themselve or feeling that they’re more knowledgeable than you are makes it uneasy for them to admit it when they’re wrong. Even when they do, it’s very difficult for them to vocally apologetic.
A predominant choleric person often feels demeaned coming down to apologize to you especially when they believe that they pay all the bills, they benefit very little or nothing from you and there’s nothing they will benefit at the end of the day. Expecting your choleric spouse or partner to become vocally apologetic to you, is expecting too much from them. For typical choleric man or husband, he’d rather attempt to pacify you with some expensive gifts or perhaps try to meet all your basic needs, especially those needs that he had initially objected to. When it is obvious to him that he was wrong, this is the time he could take some positive actions to please and pacify you, rather than say ‘i’m sorry’.
While for a typical choleric woman or wife rather than being vocal in saying ‘i’m sorry’ when it’s clear to her that she’s wrong. She will be a bit sober, kind of remorseful, and may try to make extra effort to please and pacify you, while she is also expecting you to reciprocate by initiating a conversation that’ll have all the issues sorted out. Thus, if you’re contemplating getting married to a predominant choleric spouse, you ought be aware that you’re basically tieing the knot with a vocally unapologetic spouse, so do not always expect them to easily say, ‘i’m sorry’. But you should be very sensitive to know when they are being remorseful, and perhaps trying to make amends for their wrongdoing.
5. Hard To Please:
One of the major traits of cholerics, is that they are hard or difficult to please. Just like their typical melancholic counterparts are hard to satisfy, a predominant choleric is hard to please. A typical choleric person often finds it very difficult commending or complimenting those who works for, and with him even when he’s convinced that they’ve done very well. Although, they may appreciate you in their hearts, but rarely will they openly commend or compliment you. They often feel that commending and eulogizing you, will get you puffed up, and could also make you become negligent and inefficient in your role and responsibility.
The main factor that could be responsible for the hard to please trait of predominant choleric person, is basically their natural self-sufficient and independent lifestyle. A choleric is the most self-sufficient person of the four basic temperaments. It is mainly for this reason that they often believe that they can do without anybody and still be able to achieve their goals. This character no doubt often makes them withdraw their initial compliments and commendations, and also makes people view them as being hard to please. For a choleric, nothing is too big or so special to warrant their eulogy or according it so much compliments and accolades.
It is basically for this reason that a lot of persons often seeks for their attention and approval in order for them to have a sense of fulfilment and perhaps also bolster their self-confidence. Being very hard to please is often common among the male cholerics or choleric husbands in their marriage. A typical choleric wife may not hesitate to appreciate and commend her heartthrob when they are deserving of it, but she will rarely do the same to others, particularly to those working under, or for her. While for the choleric husband, he is naturally very difficult to please, he will rather admire his heartthrob in his heart without making so much noise about it. Sometimes, he could also overlook their good deeds and pretend not to notice it. If cholerics could learn to give approval to those working under him and appreciate them, he’ll definitely get the best from them. If he can also learn to compliment and eulogize his spouse when they’re deserving of it, their relationship will be better for it.
6. Irascible And Aggressive:
One of the major problems of cholerics is anger. A typical choleric has got short fuse, little things which tries to undermine their ego and emotions easily gets them upset. When they’re upset, they’re the most blunt and aggressive persons, who are not very patient with anyone who had stepped on their toes. But they will often hit back at them without wasting any time. They don’t really care if their retaliation could lead to a fight or not. But you definitely cannot stop a typical choleric from retaliating immediately he’s adrenaline is triggered. Thus, your typical choleric spouse isn’t the most gentle and patient of persons like their phlegmatics counterparts. Therefore you should always expect an immediate response or payback from them when they feel undermined.
7. Rarely Empathizes:
The hard and rocky nature of predominant cholerics obviously makes it very difficult for them to easily empathize with you or express so much sympathy to the point of loosing their own self-esteem. Unless they are trained with love by loving and caring parents, their milk of kindness will almost dry up. Cholerics aren’t very patient with those who appears to be inconsolable, they easily get tired or become impatient with anyone who’s not courageous enough to face and withstand the challenges of life. The tears of others often drives a choleric berserk, because they often wonders why they should cry when they ought to be bold and courageous enough to any challenge or unfavorable situation life throws at them.
Thus, your predominant choleric spouse may rarely empathize with you in your most adverse situations, or may perhaps become impatient with your inconsolable attitude, since they usually need quick and immediate positive response when faced with any unpleasant situation. They do not like to dwell or talk so much about their problems, but how to overcome it. Hence, they expect you to be very courageous and be able to withstand any challenge you’re faced with. And they will no doubt support you to overcome it, rather than join you to dwell in self-pity. It’s mainly for this reason that a lot of persons often admires a typical choleric dogged lifestyle, and loves to have them as friends, and also be in their team because of their courageous, fearless, plus can-do-attitude.
8. Highly Ambitious:
Your predominant choleric spouse is a very ambitious person. He or she is an achiever, who loves to achieve and accomplish great and extraordinary things. They do not wait to be stimulated by their environment but often loves to stimulate their environment with their dreams, goals and aspirations. It is their ambition that often propels their passion, and fuels their love for work and activities that could lead them to making their ambition a reality. It is basically for this reason that a predominant choleric person could abandon every other thing, and only concentrate on work and activity just to achieve their goal and target. Even in marriage, a choleric will not hesitate to deny him or herself of fun and pleasure, and perhaps relegate love and romance to the background until they accomplish their goal or achieved their ambition.
9. Makes Decisions Unilaterally:
The know-it-all or more knowledgeable than thou attitude, plus the domineering and assertive nature of typical cholerics often makes them feel that they are in a better position to make decisions for others as well as for themselves. Cholerics loves to call the shots, and expects everyone to buy into their opinions and decisions because they often believes that their views is the best for everyone. Thus, in their marriage, they often feel it is needless getting their spouse’s views and opinions before taking a decision or maybe buying something for them.
For cholerics, as long as it’s pleasing to them, then it definitely must please their spouse and heartthrobs, and no one else matters. Next to them in this character, are their typical melancholic counterparts. But melancholics are much more considerate of others than cholerics. However, both of them definitely do shares similar traits of feeling infallible, and also believing that they know-it-all. Thus, one major traits you should always expect from your choleric spouse, is making unilateral decisions and doing some things without your knowledge and consent.
10. Likes To Be Left Alone:
When a predominant choleric person feels sad and disappointed, perhaps because of not being able to accomplish their goal and target for the day, they often returns home looking very moody and sad, and usually will like to be left alone to strategize and think. During this period, they do not want any disturbance and show of sympathy without ideas that could help them achieve their goals. Thus, talking about any other matter that’s clearly not relevant to their pain-point or asking them much questions when they know that you cannot provide a solution or suggest ideas that’ll help them get what they want, will further aggravate their already sad mood. Consequently, it could lead them to verbal aggression and abuse.
At this time, a typical choleric wants to be left alone to think and strategize other way they will be able to navigate through, and achieve their goals. This is because they’re goal and result-oriented personalities, who do not like missing their targets. Cholerics are very smart people like their sanguine counterparts. Thus, they really do not care making use of other means, even if it is the most awkward or odd means, as long as they are able to achieve their targets. So when they do appear moody and sad, and also very calm and quiet, they are basically coming up with a strategy in their head on how to get what they want and desire, and they often like to be left alone at that time to think. Therefore, you need to know the best time to approach them or what to say to them at that particular time.
11. Hates Too Much Details And Analysis:
A predominant choleric personality is not a detailed and analytical person. Therefore long-range planning, too much details and analysis easily bores him or her. They are very practical people, who often believes in, going in there and getting the job done. So you may find your choleric spouse or partner asking you to go straight to the point or hurrying you to land with your point, even when you’re trying to explain something to them in details. They’re very active people, who are full of action, thus they do not want anything wasting their time in embarking on such actions. So you must learn to be few with your words, but more active in taking action if you want to impress and interest your choleric spouse.
12. Hates Being Argued With:
One important thing you must know about predominant cholerics is that they do not like anyone arguing with them over any matter that they believe they’re abreast of. Their narrow-minded and egocentric traits often makes them feel that they know a lot about something, perhaps they actually do know, because cholerics are easily the most sophisticated persons, who no doubt likes to personally improve themselves.
When a typical choleric is sure of his or her facts or what he or she knows, engaging them in an argument will be an effort in futility because you can never make them to pander towards, or agree with your own opinion and argument. Sometimes, it could result in very heated argument and strong contentions, which will consequently make them to keep their distance from you, and become very uncomfortable with you. So, you must avoid getting into unnecessary argument with your choleric spouse, since you cannot win or make them pander to your opinion by arguing with them. Just state your point and opinion, or tell what you think is the best, then allow them to decide or choose what they want. When they fail in their decision or perhaps later realizes that they should have taken yours, then they’ll have no choice but to always want to get your thoughts and opinions.
These are some of the major signs to know that you married a predominant choleric personality. Thus, you ought not to become pissed or worried about their attitude and lifestyle. Every temperament has got their own weaknesses and strengths, and these are basically some of the typical choleric’s weaknesses. You want to read how to live with an unemotional and inconsiderate choleric spouse and 8 strategies of living with a domineering and abusive choleric spouse.
Feel free to leave your comments, questions and suggestions on this topic. If you find this post helpful, kindly buy me a cup of coffee or support me to maintain this blog’s running cost. Thank you for your assistance.
THANKS FOR YOUR TAKING THE TIME OUT TO COMMENT ON MY BLOG. ITS MOST APPRECIATED!